An Ouran Fairy Tale
by TheAuthorRin
Summary: When Haruhi ran into a strange man on the village street, she had no idea it would change her monotonous life forever! Crazy alternate reality fic!
1. The NonNonsensical Haruhi

**A/N:** Where did this come from??!! O.o I honestly don't know. I was reading _Alice in Wonderland_ today and thinking about how much I enjoyed Ouran's adaptation of the storyline… And I suppose that made me think of An Ouran Fairy Tale. I was really in the mood to write another fan fiction—write anything, really—and I've learned to act on ideas whenever they come to me. I've no idea, really, where it's going to be headed nor how long it will end up lasting, but why not go for it, eh?

Please review and tell me what you think! Any plot suggestions would be warmly accepted!

**Disclaimer: **Of course, I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. I do, however, own the plot for this fairy tale. …I think. …Right?

* * *

Once upon a time, there lived in a small village a young girl named Haruhi. Now, Haruhi was not the type to fall for nonsensical things, such as talking rabbits or singing dwarves or the like. No, Haruhi contented herself with sitting inside her little room and reading books.

Books were hard to come by in her village, since they were so cut off from any large cities and had very little money to come by. It was always a treat whenever she would wander into the small town library and find a new book sitting atop a shelf, a heavenly light shining down on it.

It was one such of these days when Haruhi was walking home, nose hidden behind the brand new book in her hands, when she ran straight into a strange young man, causing the both of them to go sprawling to the ground.

"Ow…" the stranger muttered, rubbing the back of his head. As he took into account the situation he immediately sprung to his feet and offered his hand to Haruhi, assisting her to her feet. "My fair maiden! Please excuse me; I was not minding my way! Are you hurt?"

She looked into his eyes—strange, radiant, violet eyes, the likes of which she had never seen before. His blonde hair was messy beneath his forest green cap, and it fell attractively over his eyes. She warily eyed his peculiar ensemble and vaguely wondered if he was an actor from the city. She roughly pulled her hand out of his, turned on her heel, and began walking in the direction of her house, bringing the book back up to her eyes. "I'm fine, thank you."

He stood frozen behind her for a few seconds, blinking after her in confusion, before rushing to follow after her. "Wait!" he called, and she stopped, still not turning around. He ran to stand before her, panting slightly, a bewildered expression gracing his perfect features. He composed himself before dropping the confusion and setting himself up into a dramatic pose, eyes gazing dreamily at the sky, chin between thumb and forefinger, and sparkles surrounding him. "Aren't you going to be dazzled by my frighteningly good looks?"

Haruhi stared at him blankly. "No." She began to walk away again.

"Wait!" he repeated, reaching after her; she did not stop this time, but only seemed to walk faster. "But… but—! Aren't you at least going to ask who I am and where I come from?"

She finally stopped walking and turned back to him. "Actually, I wasn't going to, really. I don't care much. Now if you would excuse me, I would like to be getting back to my book."

The stranger was exasperated. He grabbed her shoulders and tried to reason with her. "But heroines of fairy tales are supposed to be naturally curious! Haruhi, what kind of heroine are you? Stop being difficult!"

Now it was Haruhi's turn to be exasperated. "Sempai, you're not supposed to know my name yet!" she quietly exclaimed, wriggling out from beneath his grasp.

"Oh—how could I have forgotten?" He closed his eyes and brought a hand to his forehead. "What am I thinking—? …Now, what was I saying?"

"I was being difficult," the girl supplied.

"Oh yes, yes, Haruhi being difficult… Yes!" He stuck a dramatic finger into the air and called out, "Oh author! Haruhi is being difficult! Can you not do something about this?"

"Oh!" A surprised exclamation came from overhead; the pair down on the road looked above them to see The Author sitting in a tree, notebook in lap and pencil between her teeth. "Yes, yes, I'll fix that right away…"

Haruhi stiffened temporarily, then blinked a few times, dazed. She caught sight of the man. "I'm sorry… Who are you? And where are you from?"

The man puffed out his chest in pride. "I am oh so glad you asked!" he shouted, striking another pose, holding up two fingers and winking. "I am Sir Tamaki, Royal Knight and Messenger of the Great King o' the Forest!" He moved himself closer to Haruhi—so close that their noses were touching—and, with wide, innocent eyes, added, "But you can call me Tamaki."

Haruhi took a few steps back. "Sir Tamaki?" she echoed. "King of the Forest? What are you—?"

"Nope!" He cut her off happily and corrected, "It's King _o'_ the Forest, my dear maiden!"

Her stare was, again, blank. She waited for him to go on.

"I have traveled long, and far!" he began, accentuating each phrase with a wide, sweeping hand motion. "I have journeyed across scorching deserts…" (He fanned himself dramatically.) "…freezing ice lands…" (He hugged his arms to his chest dramatically.) "… all in search of _one_—" (here he held up one finger, directly below her nose) "—beautiful maiden!"

With slight distaste, Haruhi gently pushed his hand away from her nose. "And what maiden would this be, Sir Tamaki?" she asked politely.

His eyes became watery. "Tamaki, _Tamaki_!" he whined. "I asked you to call me _Tamaki_!"

She tapped her foot impatiently. He continued. "I have come in search for one Lady Haruhi! Know where I can find her?"

"Haruhi?" she repeated, eyes wide. "My name is Haruhi."

"It is?" He squealed. "Hooray! I get to take such a cute girl back to the Forest with me! Oh, the King will be so pleased! Come, Haruhi!" he commanded, taking firm hold of her arm. "Let's go!"

"Hold on!" she exclaimed, wrenching her arm from his grasp and stumbling backwards away from him; he remained frozen where he was, a pitifully rejected look on his face. "Why do you want to take me? And to _where_, exactly?"

Tamaki smiled again, and the smile lit up his entire face. "I'm taking you back to the Castle o' the Forest! It's a lovely place, you'll adore it!" He continued to grin rather stupidly at her, waiting for acceptance.

Haruhi still hesitated. "But… why?" she asked, a strange sort of curiosity welling up within her, a completely foreign feeling (for, as I believe you have figured out by now, our heroine Haruhi is not exactly the naturally curious type of person).

He finally stopped grinning the idiotic smile. "Don't you know?" he inquired disbelievingly.

"No…"

"Lady Haruhi!" He let out a small laugh. "You can't mean that no one's ever told you…!"

Frustration was beginning to boil up within her—when would he get to his point? "Told me what?"

He abruptly became serious. "…You're a wizard, Haruhi."

Haruhi fell over. At the same time The Author fell out of her tree.

"What are you thinking?" she shouted at Tamaki. "That's a completely different movie! There's things such as copyright laws, you know! Do you _want_ me to get sued or something?"

"Idiot sempai!" Haruhi joined in on the yelling at Tamaki. "Stick to the script, please!"

Their abuse forced Tamaki into his oh so familiar Corner of Woe (don't ask where he was able to find a Corner of Woe on an open village road—the world may be better off not knowing). He could be heard mumbling, "Couldn't help it… Harry Potter… Slipped out… It's fan fiction… Wouldn't get sued anyway…"

The Author climbed back into her tree, grumbling all the way. "Characters… not following their lines…"

_Let's try this again, shall we?_

"Lady Haruhi!" He let out a small laugh. "You can't mean that no one's ever told you…!"

Frustration was beginning to boil up within her—when would he get to his point? "Told me what?"

Much to her surprise, Tamaki took one of her hands into his. "Lady Haruhi, you are the descendant of the Great First Mage o' the Forest! You must be taken to the Castle o' the Forest and be instructed in your magic immediately!"

The poor girl was startled speechless; all she could do was stand there limply and stare at Tamaki blankly. Finally she looked up to the sky and roared, "What kind of nonsense _is_ this?!"

From within her tree, The Author shrugged. "The world may never know…"

**

* * *

** So there it is! It's a short chapter, yes, but it's just the beginning (hopefully). I'd love for you all to tell me what you think—it certainly is a weird story, yes, and it's only going to get weirder!! I'm not sure if I like how it's written, almost like they're filming a movie, and with The Author and everything… and I'm not sure how the Ouran fandom will receive it… But hell, I like it! That's kind of all that matters, right…? I do hope you all like it, though! 

Any support I can get would be _greatly _appreciated… I don't know when the next update will come, since this is my first real chapter fic, but hopefully it'll be soon!

Thank you for reading!!! This has been… RIN.


	2. The Bravery of Knights o' the Forest

**A/N:** All goes black, and then… INSPIRATION STRIKES!!!!!!

Sleep is good for authors. With sleep come dreams. Interesting dreams. Inspiring dreams…

Unfortunately, it does not help me with this chapter. But the story has a plan now! (Not that it didn't before… -cough-) So wish me luck! And please enjoy!!

Oh, and one last thing: I'll try to keep the author interruptions to a minimum. –sweatdrop- I dunno… I thought it added to the first chapter; it won't happen all the time. Just when there must be some sort of relief…!

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Bravery of Knights o' the Forest**

He rolled his eyes upwards to the heavens, but only saw a thick canopy of green. He was angry. Incensed. Furious. And quite possibly ready to kill someone.

Preferably the idiot standing next to him.

"Let's see…" the idiot muttered, holding the map millimeters from his eyes. He turned it several different ways and still it made no sense. "If we turned here… then we should be _here_… But where _is_ _here_…?"

The first sighed heavily and slumped down against a tree trunk. "We're lost, Kaoru. There's no way around it."

"No!" Kaoru exclaimed, tearing his gaze away from the map to look down at his brother. "We aren't lost! We're just… misplaced."

"How can we misplace ourselves?"

With another sigh of frustration, Hikaru heaved himself to his feet and looked back down the path they had been walking on. At this rate, they were never going to get to the Castle of the Forest… The kingdom was surely doomed if they did not arrive and deliver their message before it was too late—!

"Hikaru!" His brother's suddenly stern voice startled him out of his morbid musings of what tragedy would befall the kingdom if they did not arrive in time. "Stop thinking of doom. We'll never get anywhere if we can't focus on finding the way."

"It's your fault we're lost in the first place," Hikaru returned sullenly. "If you would have agreed to go the way I said we should have gone—"

"But the map said to go this way!" With a small shout of aggravation he crumpled up the map and stuck it in his messenger sack. "Stupid map. Stupid forest!" He shook an angry fist at the green ceiling. His voice seemed to echo through the trees.

Hikaru watched his mirror image stomp around shaking his fist and almost wanted to laugh. "Eh, don't worry, Kaoru," he said in what he thought was a consoling voice; he rested his hand on his twin's shoulder. "We can just retrace our steps back to that fork we came to in the road about an hour ago; remember? Maybe if we go down the other path we can find our way—"

He immediately broke off when he heard a rustling in the trees mere feet away from them. As one, they slowly turned their heads to find the source of the disturbance. "A wild animal, starving for human flesh and thirsting for blood?" Kaoru whispered, his breath quickening.

"Or… an assassin, intent upon keeping us away from our goal and eager to see the demise of the Kingdom of the Forest?" Hikaru added, shivering as well.

They hugged each other close, trembling but standing their ground, frozen and waiting to see what sort of horror would emerge from the trees.

* * *

Looking back on her life, Haruhi would have to say that there was never really anything she had done that had been so completely and utterly stupid. It had been a quiet life, living alone with books as her only company, and she was perfectly happy with that—she wouldn't give anything to change it. 

But now, for some reason unbeknownst to her, she was being dragged through a thick forest towards what may or may not be an imaginary kingdom by someone who may or may not be a rapist, axe murderer, or royal messenger. Or maybe some bizarre combination of the three.

_Why did I agree to come with him?_ she wondered for the thousandth time that day, rolling her eyes up towards the sky. Normally, she would never have gone along with something that seemed so ridiculous; that just wasn't her style.

Her eyes again found the man who was dragging her away from the safety of her home, and her brow creased in confusion. He seemed so excited—anxious, she might almost go far enough to say. And obviously intent on getting her to wherever it was he needed to get her to.

With an internal shrug and one last sigh, Haruhi decided to let it go. When it came down to it, this man somehow, in some form, needed her help. And she didn't exactly have anything to hold her back—nothing, that is to say, except the promise of safety that her home offered her.

And besides, if she had to, she knew self-defense, and could probably get herself out of any uncompromising situation she could be presented with.

He chose to look back at her then, never breaking his stride and startling her out of her deep musings. "Don't worry, fair Haruhi!" he exclaimed, eyes twinkling. "We shall be there before too much longer! You shall see the splendor of the great Castle o' the Forest!" At that moment he jerked to a stop, causing Haruhi to nearly collide with him; she caught herself and maintained her distance, though her wrist was still in his grasp. "Oh, how glad they shall be when they find that I have brought the heir of the Magick back to the kingdom! They shall honor me above all else—all shall look up to me!" He held a triumphant fist up in the air and gazed dreamily into an imaginary light shining down on him—a stance of pure drama.

Haruhi rolled her eyes. She could tell she was going to have to get used to this. "…Ah, Sir Tamaki?"

"Yes, my dear Haruhi!"

"…Aren't we supposed to be in a hurry?"

The blank expression on his face was a dead giveaway that he had no idea where she was headed with this. "Why, yes, we are! And what of it?"

"Well, if we're in such a hurry, shouldn't we _not_ be stopping?"

With one last blink and glance around them, Tamaki gave a little leap into the air (accompanied by a small squeal of sorts); he promptly began running again, leaving Haruhi to fly behind him, his hand on her wrist the only thing keeping her from hurtling backwards. _Did he honestly not realize we had stopped…?_ she wondered vaguely.

She allowed her mind to wander, intent on not focusing on the air that was constantly rushing past her face. She tried to envision the Castle of the Forest, as Tamaki had proudly described to her: sweeping arches, towering turrets, all surrounded by enormous trees whose overgrown branches seemed to scrape the skies themselves. It seemed like such a grand place—and Haruhi could not imagine herself there.

Visions of leaves reaching to the sky so occupied her mind that she had not actually realized they had stopped until the screaming began. Everything happened very fast then: before she could refocus her eyes on the world before her and discover the reason they had stopped, Tamaki had yanked her behind a particularly large bush. She pulled out of his grasp, standing up, and looked down on him. He was crouched over, arms covering the back of his head.

"Sir Tamaki… what are you doing?"

He flinched, then urgently whispered, "Shh, Haruhi! There are two demonic doppelgangers out there! Crouch down with me and stay quiet, and maybe they'll leave without causing us harm!" Eyes filled with tears of fright, he grasped her wrist and attempted to tug her down level with him.

She easily pulled away from his grip and peeked out over the bush, back towards the path he had just unceremoniously snatched her off of. The small clearing was empty.

With a slight sigh—half of relief, half of exasperation—she leaned backwards and stared down condescendingly at her cowardly company. "Sir Tamaki, I'm surprised in you. Doesn't the _Sir_ in your name indicate bravery? How can you just go dashing into the bushes whenever you get a teensy bit of a scare—?"

"Hey, are those human voices I hear?"

"Ah! So we didn't run into blood-thirsty creatures or assassins!"

Across the path, two figures emerged from the trees. _Demonic doppelgangers?_ Haruhi thought as the two came closer, looks of ease gracing their identical features. _These two are just twins!_ "Good day," she said, pleasantly as she could.

Malicious grins lit their faces as she spoke and they stopped, two feet from her, and answered in perfect synchrony, "Hello, fair maiden."

"You certainly frightened us, back there." Haruhi recognized the voice of the first that had spoken.

"Why are you all alone out here in the woods?" asked the other.

Haruhi blinked in confusion for a moment before realizing Tamaki was still hiding in the bushes. "Oh, I'm not alone. Sir Tamaki!" she called around the bush. "You can come out now—they're not demonic doppelgangers."

The twins didn't look too pleased at being referred to as such, but they stopped being skeptical as they caught sight of Tamaki and the colors he was wearing. "Knight of the Forest!" they exclaimed, bounding up to him, leaving Haruhi staring after them somewhat in shock.

"We have urgent news for the King of the Forest!" one shouted.

"The kingdom is in grave danger!" the other added anxiously.

For a moment Tamaki simply stared down at the two of them; they were out of breath from the excitement of the past minute or so and were definitely looking the worst for wear. _They must've been out here for days_, Haruhi thought to herself.

Slowly, Tamaki opened his mouth. "…It's King _o'_ the Forest," he scolded, wagging an accusatory finger in their faces. "King _o'_ the Forest, _o' the Forest._"

The twins were taken aback; they briefly glanced at each other before facing back to the knight in front of them and saying simply, "Sorry."

The accusing expression fell from his face and he smiled good-naturedly. "'S okay." He waved away the apology and laughed slightly. "It's a common mistake." In one swift motion he raised himself to his full height, looking very intimidating and dramatic and undeniably attractive all at the same time. "You twins are oh so lucky to have found me—for I shall lead you directly to the Kingdom o' the Forest and you shall deliver your incredibly important message!" He winked, stuck up his thumb in an "okay" sort of way, and stared directly into the camera.

"What a ham," Hikaru muttered.

"So overly dramatic," Kaoru agreed.

"Why did I ever agree to this?" Haruhi asked no one in particular.

"Because your life was incredibly boring and you had nothing better to do with your time," The Author answered nonchalantly from her tree, not looking away from the notebook in her lap.

* * *

**Ultra-Special Chapter 2 Outtake!!!!!??!!!**

He immediately broke off when he heard a rustling in the trees mere feet away from them. As one, they slowly turned their heads to find the source of the disturbance. "A wild animal, starving for human flesh and thirsting for blood?" Kaoru whispered, his breath quickening.

"Or… an assassin, intent upon keeping us away from our goal and eager to see the demise of the Kingdom of the Forest?" Hikaru added, shivering as well.

"Oh, how far from the truth they are…" An ominous chuckle suddenly floated down to the pair from the treetops. They looked up, searching the canopy, before looking back down and fixing each other with blank stares.

"What was that, do you think?"

"Who knows? I don't care. Probably just some stupid squirrel or something."

"Oy!"

The Author was furious at this blatant shutting down of her most ominous and ambiguous chuckle. She began pelting them with fat, ugly coconuts (coconuts from who knows where—for she certainly was not hiding in a coconut tree). The twins covered their heads and screeched, "Agh! No! Noo!!" They ran around in circles in a vain attempt to escape the deadly coconuts.

The Author screamed down at them, "Just flick me off like that, huh? Well, now what do you think of my ominous chuckle and creepy foreshadowing? _Now what do you think?!_"

At this moment, Tamaki and Haruhi chose to emerge from the trees; they caught sight of the spectacle and paused. Haruhi finally took one hesitant step forward, accidentally stepping on a twig, which proceeded to make a loud snapping noise. The two froze.

The Author abruptly turned to face them, fury still lingering across her author-like features.

The two latest additions to the scene gaped. "Eh?!"

* * *

Chapter two finally presents itself! 

Please review! Tell me how you like it—give me advice—I'll take anything!!!


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